Week 2 Naples at the waterfront - Part 2 Observations on Life

 

 

Only Americans were bandana print shirts!

Looking north on the Bay of Naples

Staying at a large tourist hotel at Naples provides wonderful people watching opportunities. Large cruise ships come in on a regular basis not too far from where the hotel is, and the large group tour buses seem to use these hotels as well. I saw large groups of Japanese tourists, Chinese tourists, British tourists, Continental tourists (a mix of languages and backgrounds), as well as several groups that use the hotel for conferences. There were a few Middle Eastern tourists too, very obvious by the long black robes and veils worn by the women.

I met one nice Australian woman who was there for a conference on  Critical Thinking in Business. She had several Australian colleagues with her plus a smattering of people from all over Europe. Very nice, friendly people! Another group of largely American women were there for a few days for a Hair Stylists convention. Some business travelers seemed to use these hotels also; it must be reasonably priced and still provide access to transportation and sights to enjoy in the off hours.

One thing I found interesting is how the Italians that work in the hotels, restaurants and shops along the Bay seem to be able to know what nationality you are by your demeanor and how you dress. Occasionally they are wrong, but for the most part they are pretty good with guessing the right language with which to greet you. Several of the waiters and hotel staff workers were multi-lingual and I heard them using French, Spanish, German, Dutch, English and a couple other languages I couldn't identify. The Asian travelers tend to bring their own translators and they stuck together in tight groups, whereas the Western travelers broke off into small groups to eat or wander.
I started to do some people watching and playing the game to see if I could guess the nationality of the tourists. I actually got pretty good at it, being a student of human nature. A lot of what gives away a person's home country is their clothing. I have to admit with chagrine that Americans are easy to spot. By and large Americans are ultra-casual, even bordering on sloppy and disheveled. We have carried sportswear, pajamas, and gangsta fashions to the extreme and people tend to believe they have a "right" to wear those clothes anytime and any place. It is a dead give-away that you are American. I don't consider that I was wearing excessively sloppy clothing but I was not "dressing up" in the evenings after work to go eat. Italians, and Continental Europeans in general do dress up, even if they are just strolling the water front and having a pizza. When I put on a sundress to go out in the evenings instead of my work slacks, waiters thought I was Italian until I opened my mouth, of course, But I considered that a good sign.

So many of you will be thinking, "I am not going to dress up just cause I am in Italy -- My money is good anywhere!" or "I dont' care what anyone thinks of me, I'll never see them again". Those would be characteristic of our American attitude toward clothing. Why do we think dressing up is a drudge? The Europeans seem to enjoy it.

I saw some of the young American women coming into the hotel restaurant for breakfast. It was a breakfast buffet but in a very nice second floor, glass-front restaurant overlooking the water. The tables all have white linens and crystal stemware, and the waiters are all in suits. It is clearly NOT like popping into Mickey D's for a breakfast burrito. These young women were part of the Hair Stylists convention, I believe, and they had on tight tube tops, short-shorts, flip flops and their hair was still wet from the shower. I would call that inappropriate dress. They were certainly not the only ones. I saw lots of wrinkled shorts and shirts, t-shirts and logo clothing (the Japanese tourists love logo clothing), and certainly lots of very overweight people, including yours truly. It is quite eye-opening to see your own culture with different eyes.

The rocks are a favorite sunbathing spot for locals

Maybe I sound a bit old fashioned but I do think there is an element of respect that we should show to honor cultures when we visit their country. Within the boundaries of appropriate, there is still a lot of room to express yourself.


The British tended to be a little more put together than the Americans, not quite so frazzled-looking and definitely a lot thinner and paler. So were the Dutch. The French that I saw were very stylish, very thin, and have a distinctly haughty air about them. The Italians are distinctive, not only because of their darker coloring but the style they put into their clothing and general appearance.

Naples at night is quite beautiful

One of the great joys is the evenings when everyone comes out to walk. Mom, Dad, Grandma, the kids, the teenagers, everyone walks and visits and just generally enjoys the evenings together. It is a very social time, with the evening meal not typically starting until at least 8pm, but 9pm is more popular, and continuing on past midnight. Everyone eats slowly and in courses, and visits and just enjoys the time. You will never be rushed out of your table so someone else can sit down, and when you are ready to go, you have to ask for the check. I think the Italians consider it rude to bring you the check before you ask for it.

I had many simple meals that lasted two hours and a few that lasted as long as four hours. (More on food in a later blog.) After a fine meal, a walk is in order. In most the towns I visited there is a plazza in the middle of town and a park where people tend to gather. Even the week nights were busy until late. Several evenings it was 9pm before I got back from late meetings at work, and I wandered out to find something to eat. I never felt the least bit concerned about being a woman alone in the public places. Of course I used common sense and stayed in the popular spots that were well-lit

A favorite sidewalk cafe

It is a very luxurious lifestyle I saw, not because of the cost of things they had, but because they savor and enjoy every moment and really take pleasure in the simple things like being with people you like, a cool evening breeze, and a delicious meal. They didn't seem caught up by the hurry that we have here, and that was such a relief! Even when I thought I would be tired for getting to bed so late, I really found myself sleeping soundly and waking refreshed and relaxed in the mornings. There is a lot to be said for this way of life!

Week 2 Naples at the waterfront - Part 1 Getting there

Finally made it to what will eventually be my home base in the Naples vicinity. Of course, I was staying in a hotel on the waterfront for the time being, but will be returning to look for permanent housing in another month. Along the Via Partenope are several big tourist hotels and lots of cafes and shops. It really is a nice place to stay and have a lot of things within walking distance.

Naples lived up to it's reputation for crazy streets and driving. Actually, once I got the hang of it, I don't mind it at all. You have to view driving here as a dance, one person told me. That is very true. Traffic rules are mere suggestions and the number of lanes grows and shrinks as the situation dictates. If you think of a large ballroom of dancers and the way people move in and around each other as the dance progresses, then that is a very appropriate analogy. And if a rogue dancer decides to cut a swath diagonally across the dance floor, people just move aside and let them go and resume their dancing. Another description that I heard describes Naples traffic as flowing like water and that also is a good description. 

One of the main differences I see is that you must be alert at all times. No setting the cruise control and going into autopilot like we do on the I-5. Scooters are whizzing around you darting in and out of the cars. They do a two short beep honk when they are getting ready to cut in front of you, or change lanes, but you have to be alert for that sound and pay attention to where they are. Then there are the large tourist buses who rule the roads by virtue of their size -- all must give way-- and the trains, trams, trucks and many cars. I actually didn't see any accidents the 10 days I was in Naples, not even a fender bender. The four days we were in NYC last year I saw lots of fender benders. Who can explain?

I did get lost a couple times my first few days in Naples. When you can't read the signs in Italian, and even if you could read them, they probably don't tell you what you need to know (like the name of the street you are on), and many streets are very narrow, cobblestone one-ways that were built for ox carts in the 1200;s, and people double park, or triple park and add to all that the intersections with 5 or 6-way splits-- all this is a recipe for getting lost. I drove down several one way streets the wrong way, drove on the sidewalk a time or two (acting like a native), took lots of wrong turns and at one point ended up in a really bad neighborhood that I didn't want to be in. At that point, I stopped and prayed for the Holy Spirit to lead me out of that place and he did. I eventually made it to my hotel using a map after being lost for about an hour, and made it to work on Monday in Pomigliano after being lost for over 2 hrs (once in Naples trying to find the autostrade -- their version of the interstate-- and again when I got to Pomigliano and couldn't find the plant). Sigh!

Then at the first opportunity I went and got a GPS which was a great help in Naples traffic. (In week 3 I will tell you how "Suzy 2" (my GPS) led me astray in another part of Italy but that is later). All of this taught me one of the most important lessons in the Italian way of life: live in the moment and let go of the little frustrations of life. Laugh about these things and just move on; it is part of the adventure and makes for really great stories later!

Week 1 at the Relais Histo near Grottaglie, Italy

This is a favorite small luxury hotel for the Boeing people as well as other business travelers. It dates back to 1392 and was once a Roman villa and monastery. It is very nicely rennovated and quite luxurious. I love staying here although it is out of town. The pool is lovely also but I didn't photograph it.

http://www.relaishisto.it/history.htm

First three weeks

Go to Italy if you ....
Are a truly flexible person who can live in the moment
Are open to new food tastes and combinations
Like to have long, leisurely meals and visit with friends
Like to stroll along the plazas and waterfronts to enjoy the evenings
Can let go of the way you have always done things and embrace something new
Don't mind downsizing your living quarters and simplifying your stuff
Are willing to learn the language and enjoy the culture
Can adapt to a different climate and switch to different clothing styles to fit in
Don't mind driving a very small car and learning the language of honking and the "dance" of driving where traffic rules are merely suggestions
Love espresso and pastires, wine and fresh bread, olive oil and balsamic vinegar, pasta and fresh vegetables in season
Like connecting with people in a genuine way and truly getting to know them
Can laugh at your own mistakes and difficulties, and still enjoy the day

Don't go to Italy if you....
Want to listen to the same music and watch the same shows on TV that you watch in the States -- there may be a way to do some of that but it will take some time and genius to figure that out
Like the predictability of your current lifestyle
Enjoy familiar foods and all things American
Like to have a well ordered, well planned itinerary for your day -- it is not going to happen that way in Italy!
Like to have a busy schedule with tight itinerary and lots of activities put into the day -- you will be very disappointed cause things don't happen fast in Italy
Are worried about hygiene and germ control -- people in Italy don't seem that concerned and hand sanitizer is practically non-existent
Like fast food, fast cars, speed dating, or anything else that occurs rapidly -- not happening in Italy!
Are offended by a culture that doesn't view "green" living the way we do -- recycling is token only and the streets in some places are full of trash that washes into the sea (I will have a future blog devoted to environmental observations)
Are frustrated by government bureaucracy, slow road repairs, lots of holidays when businesses close, limited shopping hours (very few things are 24.x7), a heavily unionized work force with distinct ideas about what is their job and what it isn't

I like Italy and think the next couple of years will be an awesome experience! I thought I was pretty flexible but already found myself challenged on several occasions to just let stuff go and not let the frustrations ruin my day. It is not for everybody. I observed among the Americans I met there several that I doubt will make it the two full years; they were getting frustrated about things not happening quickly and like they want them to happen. There is also a tendency for some to retreat into a community of all American ex-patriates to preserve the sense of the familiar; my instinct tells me this is a mistake. As scarey as it might be at first, the real joy in this journey is going to be living among Italians and speaking their language and making Italian friends.

Saying Farewell to my old work group

Sharing the steps in the upcoming adventure

Already speaking Italian with my hands.....

My work group gave me a going away potluck last week. It was very kind and a chance to see a lot of people that I have worked with the last 6 years. I received many warm good wishes and hugs.