Having a coffee at the Beauty Shop
The wife of my hairdresser greets me with a kiss on each cheek. I have not been in the beauty salon for several months while working in Grottaglie. I am treated like a long-lost cousin. I don't have an appointment but they say to stay and they will take me anyhow. I brought them some tourist materials about Grottaglie and Taranto as the husband had requested this several months ago on the next trip I made there. She tells me what is going on in their family and I tell her about mine. What nice people!
So we chat and she always makes coffee for all the clients in the shop. Coffee is served in small plastic cups about the size of a small bathroom dixie cup, very strong espresso and delivered to each person with a packet of sugar and a small plastic stirring stick. This is our tradition. It is very comforting.
Full Service Gas Pumps
I never did like getting out in the rain and wind and snow to pump my own gas. Then you get gas smell on your hands, and sometimes it splatters on your good clothes. In Italy they still have both self serve and full serve pumps. I always use full serve, pay the extra few cents per gallon, gives someone a job and, I get my windshield washed too! They will even check the oil and the air in your tires if you ask them. Nice!
Waiters, Bell Boys, Conductors, Door Men, and Taxi Drivers Don't Expect Tips
They still are polite, helpful and give good service (most of them) and don't expect a tip. The only exception is the ones at the strictly tourist locales, then they have learned to get the foreigners -- especially Americans -- to give them tips. But in the Italian restaurants and hotels, they don't expect it. Sometimes I do tip, if I get really good service or they go out of their way to help, but even then I don't tip as much as we do in the US. It is kind of refreshing to have people show you kindness and do their jobs without expecting handouts at every turn.
People Are Not Afraid To Touch A Stranger
Italians don't mind being crowded together on an elevator, bus, park bench, doctor office sofa, stadium bleachers, or other public places. They brush up against each other and don't feel like they have to apologize for it. They may bump each other in the store, or going in and out of doors and the like, without apology. It is normal and not something that offends them, nor do they seem to fear it. In the US, I would say "excuse me" if I bumped someone in a store, or I would naturally avoid sitting next to someone where our shoulders had to rub together, unless absolutely necessary. In Italy, they would only say "excuse me" if they really knocked someone and caused pain or they lost balance, not simply because the bodies touched. I am used to the Italian way now, and it seems more natural to me.
Same Gender People can Hold Hands Without Being Homosexual
Mothers and daughters, girlfriends, men that are friends, children of either sex, all are normally seen holding hands, linking arms, walking together in companionship. There is no overtone of homosexually implied or hinted. It is just their way of being together and it is relaxed and shows affection between people. In America, it seems like we have grown so fearful of any kind of touching between same sex or opposite sex, unless they are strictly family or boyfriend/girlfriend. This is especially true in the work place as accusations abound for harassment, and the litigious vultures in our culture have placed fear in our hearts for expressing any kind of human touching or warmth. Kind of sad it has come to that, as touch is one of the important senses and can be the most healing and reassuring of all. I think the Italians have the right of it.
Italian Law Doesn't Protect Idiots From Themselves
In Italy, if you do something stupid, for example, buy fireworks and blow your finger off, well, too bad for you. You should not have done that. You don't get to sue the government, or the fireworks company, or the store you bought it from. That goes for lots of risky behavior, whether it is drinking too much wine, smoking, burning yourself with your barbecue grill, or scalding yourself with a hot cup of coffee you placed between your thighs! The people without common sense will be weeded out of the gene pool in Italy, although there are still plenty left who manage to skate by!
Greetings and Inquiries about the Family Are Sincere
When you meet people in Italy, they are serious about inquiring about your health, your family, and your state of contentment. It is not a casual thing to say, and they all remember the names of your family members, where they live, what is going on in their lives, etc. I have learned to pay more attention to the family members when I am introduced, and to inquire in return about their health and happiness. It comes down to the fact that people don't generally make casual friendships; I don't think that even exists here. People make friends and they are friends -- genuine, life long friends who care about each other and will do for each other as needed. I know I can return to Italy 10 or 20 years from now, and I will still be greeted by these friends as though we parted yesterday. Wow, what a blessing!
I Stay in Better Contact With Friends and Family Around the World
I know this one sounds strange since we are 8000 miles away from most of them in the US now but somehow it seems we are in touch more often and with more people. I think part of it is just the idea that we are so far away, it makes us all realize we need to reach out more. For our children in Wichita, we didn't see them very often before and only called periodically but now we Skype or Facetime regularly. As for friends in Everett and other places, we IM, FB message, email or Skype more often as well. Living in Italy has given us a more "global" mindset about things.
Peppy, Fuel-Efficient Cars
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| My Audi A3 |
The Italian Kiss (bacciette) from My Dr.
I really like my orthopedic doctor in Naples. He speaks a few words of English but no matter, he is a good doctor and patient to communicate with me using charades, my limited Italian, and drawing pictures. We have a good relationship and I feel at ease with him. He has been keeping these poor old knees going now for 1 1/2 years and I will miss him. I would actually trust him to do my replacement surgery, if the situation demanded it. Anyway, after I returned from my 3+ month time away down south, I went to get my cortisone injections and he greeted me with the Italian kiss, one on each cheek!! Wow, I am going to tell my US Ortho Dr. that this is how I want to be treated!
Parking Attendants
Parking in Italy is so crazy! There are never enough spaces, and so people double and triple park, wedge into tight places and park on sidewalks and in driveways. Thus arises the need for Parking Attendants. They are self-appointed parking overseers for their businesses or blocks (I have never figured out how that works) and they will help guide you as you park a too-big car into a too-small spot, watch over your car for potential thieves or vandals, help you in and out of your car with packages and stuff, and, they will come get you when the police come along to give you a ticket for being illegally parked so you can hurriedly move your car. For this, you give them 50 cents or a euro, or even 1.50 euro depending on where it is, how helpful they are, and how you are feeling. I have my regular Parking Attendants in the places I go regularly, and they know me, know my walking limitations, and save the best spaces for me!
I have one parking attendant at a medical clinic that is an elderly man -- well into his late 70s I think but I might be fooled by a face lined by weather, poverty and bad health -- and I suspect he has some vision problems due to the the cloudiness in his eyes. He knows me, always greets me and helps me, holds the umbrella over my head when I get in/out of the car, walks me to the door in the rain, and tells me that I am "bella"! You can't beat that! Yesterday he told me that he thinks I am "bella" even if I am fat; he doesn't like skinny women. Wow! That is a complement (I guess) that I was not sure how to take. But he said you have a "bella faccia" (beautiful face) and I look like I am only 50 years old. At least I think that is what he said -- he is missing some teeth and so the pronunciation of some of the *Neopolitan words was throwing me off, so I chose to understand it how I wanted to! I am starting to like this guy more and more :-) Doesn't everyone need a parking attendant like that! (BTW, he knows I am married and has met Johnnie several times so no worries in that department; older Italian men are just like that)
*Neopolitan - Napolitano is a dialect of Italian spoken around the Naples area. It is a mixture of Italian chopped up, and Spanish as far as I can tell.
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